Are you Online or Offline and by that I don’t mean being connected to the internet or Wi Fi?!
Ever seen someone so stressed and stretched out! It is one of the most awful and unpleasant situations ever. This happens more often than we think and it happened to me.
Different people behave differently and reactions vary from aggression, sudden explosions, hammering complaints, depression, to escaping and hiding away.
I like to refer to this stage regardless of the outcome as an OFF-LINE state!
Those who have been to the end of that line, know exactly what I mean. As hard and difficult as it sounds, the solution is simple accessible and at your finger tips.
I hope by sharing my latest revelation I can inspire you and many women as I have been inspired.
Women are known to be natural givers and unfortunately many of us switch infinitely on this auto mode. It becomes their way of life depleting themselves, continuously on the “I HAVE TO” give or do mode without understanding the underlying causes.
In one of my latest adventures I have attended an amazing workshop that helped me solve a gigantic piece of my life puzzle.
It was at the Sacral Body Architecture workshop performed by Nuria Kaspakova. This workshop involved a lot of breathing exercises and loads of insights. Through which it was explained that we humans alternate through different states; to understand it better they divided the human body into 3 parts: the right, the middle and left side. The “I WANT TO” Mode representing Childhood and is situated at right body side versus the “I HAVE To” mode representing Adulthood and is situated on one’s left body side. Where as the neutral mode is based directly in the middle of the body.
When we are children, we are continuously operating in the “I WANT To” state and as we grow older responsibilities enforce the “I HAVE TO” state. However, an actually truly balanced person is just flowing in the middle on that line. Hence, the reason why I decided to call it the “ON LINE” state, the art of being in other words. It is a state where you are simply flowing in a continuous state of bliss, doing things naturally with no inner conflict between what I HAVE TO” and what “I WANT TO”.
It might sound very philosophical and for the sake of ease, I will demonstrate through a real life example hoping to clarify.
I grew in a loving family, having a beautiful childhood with beautiful loving parents. However, at the age of 8 my beautiful mother had a sudden nervous breakdown. You can only imagine the devastation, my whole world as a child collapsed!
My mother was never the same again, in a way I felt as I lost her forever!
As she grew older and more fragile my responsibilities towards her grew more and more creating a huge continuous conflict within.
On a subconscious level, it was tearing me apart. Though, it wasn’t the responsibility that I dreaded but rather the fact that I, the child was still looking, fighting hoping to get her mother back.
The older she grew, the harder it was to face that she is not coming back and that I have to live with a different “motherly” being. Frustration festered deeper killing me on the inside.
Accepting my new mother meant the end of my childhood, the end of that child’s dreams. It sounds very childish and selfish yet it was only when I was able to be honest to myself that I was able to change matters.
Everything starts with awareness, a trigger an inspiration, then honesty to oneself. That is when I had to look deep into myself and face it, in order to move on. I finally did and I feel so blessed.
I am proud to say I am no longer looking for my mom as I have evolved and see her now as an evolved being. I endorse her and enforce her in her own journey. With this new awareness and perception everything I do is now a natural state of being rather than a responsibility or obligation. She is a bliss from God to which I am forever grateful.
Flowing ON LINE, such a beautiful feeling beyond description!! No more inner conflicts and inner voices.
Now the question is directed to you?! Want to be ONLINE?
So, what is it that is causing you to be OFF LINE? What are you afraid to face?
With this awareness and honesty my life took a beautiful turn and am hoping it does for you too.
Infinite love and light.
By Ayesha Kouwatly
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