The 3 Essentials For Your Emotional Self-Care

By: Francesca Giulia Mereu


Tips and reflections to help you shine as a woman and as a respected professional

Last month, I shared with you that each of the 4 dimensions of your energy—physical, emotional, mental and spiritual—have key points to watch for that greatly increase your chances of creating a solid new self-care routine. For the physical dimension, I mentioned mini-habits, ease and acceptance.

Now, we’re going to explore the 3 essentials for your Emotional energy. This dimension is connected with how you manage your feelings. Some examples: how you calm down after a difficult meeting, stay confident and positive after being criticized or clearly express your needs—without unease or shame.

Often, I see how my female clients fall into the Wonder Woman Trap of guilt and self-neglect, as you can see in my first article, because their emotions work against and not for them. Emma—my fictitious client—comes across as very decisive, yet, when we explored her Emotional energy, she looked overwhelmed: “I should be patient with my team and assertive about my own needs.”

Emma linked her changes to concepts like patience and assertiveness that are both absolute and unattainable. This is a clear sign of the Wonder Woman Trap: setting the bar very high and then suffering for it.

I suggested that she identify 2 mini-habits to further develop those qualities and add words like “more,” more often and more easily.

This is how Emma rephrased her actions:

  • I will place a sign on my desk when I’m not available to talk (patience).
  • During meetings, I will keep my posture more upright and intervene at least twice. (assertiveness).

Watch out for these 3 essentials

Emotions are an expansive subject and there is no “magic recipe” that fits everyone. However, these starting points can be used as a base to care more effectively for your Emotional energy.

  1. listen to your inner dialogue

What are the expressions that you use most often to describe yourself, your abilities, and other people’s attitudes? For 5 days, listen to your inner dialogue and write down what you tend to repeat. No judgment! Just observe what comes up.

  1. limiting words are very expensive

Limiting words are “problem-oriented” and often place blame on others or ourselves.

For example: “I’m always bad at . . .”; “he’s going to be late again”; or “life is unfair.”

These words are energetically expensive, because they trigger a scarcity mindset; they focus our attention on what’s “wrong” and increase our fear and stress.

  1. empowering words sustain your energy

Empowering words are “solution-oriented” and create an abundant mindset that increases self-confidence and clarity.

For example: “I could . . .”; “my options are”; or “I’m getting better.”

However, there’s a fine line between arrogance or self-delusion and a positive attitude. Check it by asking yourself: am I being both honest and kind? How would I address this with a close friend?

Practical tips to embody this idea

Finally, let’s integrate these ideas into our bodies.

Have you heard about the Konjac sponge?

It’s a gently exfoliating facial sponge commonly used in Asia and made from the Konjac plant. You can use it alone or with a small amount of facial cleanser.

Here are a few suggestions based on my own routine:

  • Wetyour face and the sponge and squeeze it lightly between your palms.
  • Move it over your face in gentle upward, circular movements.
  • Imagine that the sponge erases any heavy emotions you’re still carrying at the end of the day.
  • Say something uplifting to yourself.
  • Monitor your internal dialogue and avoid any negative remarks about what you see in the mirror. We women can be our own worst critics!
  • Rinse your face and the sponge with water and hang it to dry.

You can easily purchase the sponge on Amazon.

I hope that from now on your Emotional energy will benefit from what comes out of your mouth as well as what goes in!

Next month we will explore the 3 essentials to care for your Mental energy.



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